Harry Potter's parent's evening
by PrincessZelda450
Summary: (AU in which Voldemort does not exist, so Lily, James, Sirius etc are alive and well) (Oneshot) It's parent's evening at Hogwarts, a chance for parents to find out how well their children are getting on at school. However, when the Potters have to discuss Harry's grade's with Snape, things get a bit awkward! (No pairings, apart from Lily and James being married.)


**Helloooo!**

**This is my first time ever writing a Harry Potter fanfiction (Exciting times of life!)**

**Basically, it's AU, where Voldemort does not exist (So Lily, James, Sirius etc are still alive and Sirius hasn't been in Azkaban, Peter's still their friend blah blah blah) Set on parent's evening in Harry's first year! As you can imagine, when they reach Snape, things get a little awkward… anywho, on with le story! (This is a oneshot by the way! A full story set in this world coming soon!)**

**And I know everyone says this, but please review! It means the world to me :3 I'll give you some internet-Butter Beer!**

"Ah, back to hoggy warty Hogwarts! Actually, now I think about it, how did the 4 greatest wizards in the world come up with a song that goes HOGGY WARTY HOGWARTS!?" James exclaimed, as they walked through the main entrance, "Oh look, there's that tree we played a prank on Snape, remember Padfoot?"

Sirius, who remembered very well, laughed and replied "Why yes, yes I do."

"…Did you say Snape?" Harry questioned, "As in Severus Snape?"

"Yes…" Said James, looking lightly concerned, "Uhhh… why?"

"HE'S THE POTIONS MASTER!"

"OH CRAPPY CRAP CRAPPINESS!" Sirius shouted, "What are we going to do? We can't just go over and say 'Hello Snape, we bullied you, can I have my godson's grade's please?'…Lily, you have to go!"

"WHAT?" Lily said (Very loudly), "I'm not talking to that racist creepy… creep!"

"But I thought you were friends?" Asked Harry, who was very confused. "He always asks me how you are."

"OH HE WOULD, THE STALKER." Expressed James, looking angry, "He called your mother a mudblood and yet he expects her to want to be friends!"

"Harry James Potter?" Came Minerva McGonagall's voice.

"Ah yes, coming!" Lily told her, "Oh I say, where has Sirius got to? Sirius? SIRIUS! Stop flirting with that poor young lady! I'm so sorry…" She muttered, embarrassed.

"Where's Georgia?" Asked James, referring to their second born girl, who resembled James in every way, apart from her hair, which was bright red like her mother.

"I thought she was with Remus?" Said Sirius, "Wait… he's her godfather right? Or is it Peter? I always forget…"

"You know very well that Peter's godfather of Chloe and Sam." James replied, referring to their youngest, the two twins, "Infact, I seem to remember you reminded them their Godfather was a rat by posting pictures of rats onto their walls? Not a very nice surprise for some 6 year olds, I must say. Oh look, there's Georgia, talking with the Longbottom's son."

"Harry James Potter?" Minerva repeated, looking quite annoyed, "Over here please!"

"Oh, terribly sorry!" Shouted Lily, "Come on James, Sirius."

"GEORGIA, STAY WITH THE LONGBOTTOMS OKAY?" Shouted Sirius.

"Oh I do wish you wouldn't be so loud, Sirius!" Complained McGonagall, "Anyway, about Harry… Well speaking from a head of house point of view, you've certainly passed on the… uhhh… prankster gene… actually, there was an incident in which he, Ronald Weasly and Hermione Granger decided it would be funny to pour a potion over Draco Malfoy's pumpkin juice, which resulted in him having green hair and blue skin for a day…"

"HAHA!" Sirius laughed, "Bet that gave old Lucius a shock, didn't it? To think his precious pure-blood, probably inbred son could be pranked by our Harry, a muggle born girl and a Weasly! Ahhh…"

"Well, I can see that pranking is clearly encouraged at home!" Minerva snapped, "However, putting that little fault aside, he is a bright and clever student, and I do expect great things from him. Anywho, the next teacher you need to see is… let me see… Professor Bins."

"He STILL works here?" James exclaimed

"Shush James. Thank you, Minerva." Lily smiled, "Now, come on you two, Harry, let's go and see old Bins."

"Old? More like ancient!" Muttered Harry, who hated History of Magic, what use was it to him? They were all dead anyway…

Harry, his parents and Sirius walked (Or in Sirius' case, strutted) over to Professor Bins.

"Name?" The professor drawled.

"Uhhh… Harry Potter." Replied Lily.

"House?"

"GRYFFINDOR, WHERE THE BRAVE DWELL AT HEART… OR SOMETHING!" Shouted Sirius dramatically.

"Oh shut up Padfoot." Muttered Lily.

"Harry James Potter of Gryffindor house, please…" Bins muttered to the flower pot next to him. Suddenly, the flower pot burst to life!

'Harry James Potter… Grades D, P, and T for recent assessments. Does not pay attention in class, for he is too busy talking to Ronald Bilius Weasly.' And the flower pot suddenly died again.

"YOU GOT D, P AND T?!" Lily screamed, "Harry Potter, I would have expected better of you!"

"Calm it Lils…" Muttered Sirius.

"Next teacher… Professor Snape…" Bins said lazily.

"OH CRAP" Shouted Sirius

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Shouted James.

"Ugh!" Shouted Lily

"What's going on?" Shouted Georgia

"WE HAVE TO SEE SNAPE!" Shouted James.

"WHY ARE WE ALL SHOUTING?" Shouted Sirius

"I DON'T KNOW!" Shouted Harry.

"Well, let's get this over and done with." Decided Lily, "Come on then."

They reluctantly walked over to the very cheerful-looking teacher, who did not look at all like a psycho/mentalist dressed all in black with unwashed hair, a long hooked nose, and such a pleasant grimace on his face.

"Uhhh… Severus. Uhhh… Long time… no see?" Said Sirius.

"Unless you want me to fail your Godson in all tests, I suggest you stop being so ignorant and remember I am of higher importance than you at this school." The professor replied, curtly.

"Umm… Soooo about Harry's grades…?" Started Lily.

"Lily! How lovely to see you again!" Smiled Snape, ignoring James' cries of 'SNAPE SMILES! IT'S THE APOCOLYPSE!'

"Hm." She merely replied, "Now, I am here about my sons grades, for I expect you don't want to be talking to a 'mudblood' like myself."

"Lily, I apologised for that! I didn't mean it! It just…"

"Slipped out?" She snapped, "Just tell me my son's grades please."

"Fine." Snape replied, "Harry Potter, P, P and, surprisingly, P in recent tests. Does not pay attention. Enjoys blowing things up with Miss Granger and Mr Weasly."

"Isn't there ANYTHING nice you have to say to anyone!" Lily exclaimed, "You foul loathesome cockroach!"

"Now Lily, don't lose it…" Sirius muttered and they all walked away from the very ugly teacher.

Lily was about to retort, when Harry shouted, "RON! HERMIONE! OVER HERE!"

Ron and Hermione ran over with their parents, and, in Ron's case, siblings.

"Ron, Hermione, this is my dad, my mum, my sister Georgia, and my godfather, Sirius. Various family members, this is Ron and Hermione!" Introduced Harry.

"Ron! Heard so much about you! You seem quite the prankster!" Sirius smiled, "And Hermione! You too! Quite the cleverest witch of your age, so I've heard!"

"Nice to meet a fellow ginger," Molly Weasly smiled, taking Lily's hand, "Molly Weasly."

"Lily Potter." Lily smiled in return.

And it was all going well, until… "LILY, MY PATRONOUS IS A DOE! RUN AWAY WITH ME!" Sounded across the hall, James leaped on Snape, Dumbledore had a panic attack, Georgia and Ginny randomly become besties, and Sirius shouted 'Accio broom!' and randomly started flying around the hall.

"Well… This was an eventful parent's evening."

LE END!

**Okay, so it was very weird… PWEASE REVIEW!**


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